Now let me tell you the truth about how it does make me feel. I will admit it, I really did want to get engaged.
But when I got there I was so high on it – that soon turned into “What the fuck did I agree to!“.
And do you know what? I actually think this is a normal feeling.
That’s why I was in such a hurry to get the date set – at least then I couldn’t run away from planning forever. And once the date was set, I could get started with the big things.
Even if the big things are in place (church, venue, photographer, etc.) I still have moments of “I do not want to think about this!!!!” and moments of “Holy shit what am I doing, this is going to be a horrible event“.
When I have my “Holy shit” moments I try to vent to my fiance about it – he usually gets me back on the ground, telling me things like “It will be how we want it, it’s our day and we are the ones paying for it!”. He is right, but again he doesn’t have anyone telling him this and that about everything either – I do! But I am trying to not give a shit about everyone’s opinions all the time. It’s not their wedding!!!
I am doing the best I can to stay sane. But I do seriously worry that people will think it sucks and they will be bored at my wedding! Is that actually possible?!?