I’m sorry, I have to care for my imaginary hamster!

That’s how I am, I always have and excuse. Especially if someone invites me to things, I usually say “I’ll think about it!” – but I always end up having to cuddle or wash my imaginary hamster.

I don’t know why, because it hasn’t always been like this. I used to be out there in the world, hanging out with other humans.

Now, it’s just me, my fiancรฉ and the imaginary hamster.

Somehow I feel that it has something to do with that I feel like I need to have an excuse instead of saying “you know what, I don’t feel like hanging out”<- or what ever the case might be. Or the fact that some people just can’t except if you say “today is not good for me”, they need to know why! Why?!?! Why?!?!?!?!?!??!

Somethings are actually personal, so if I don’t want to tell you WHY! I don’t have to, now do I!

Why is the reason for all my excuses? I have social phobia (and general anxiety)! I am by the way getting help for that. I hope that I will be out there in the world with other humans again – in due time of course, I can not divorce the hamster right away – I need to find him a good home!ย 


14 thoughts on “I’m sorry, I have to care for my imaginary hamster!

  1. hamsters are important too ๐Ÿ™‚
    This reminded me of the ad that comes at the of the Jimmy Kimmel youtube videos ‘if you don’t subscribe to my channel, this imaginary hamster will die’ ๐Ÿ˜‰


  2. I too often give the “I’ll think about it” excuse when I’m invited to social events when really I just want to say no. It’s hard for me to go even when I know it’s an event attended by other people who also have social anxiety. I often feel very much alone with my anxiety in social situations when I perceive other people are dealing with their SA better than me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. People experience their social anxiety different. And it’s hard. I’m one of those who might sometimes push through it, but I have always been like that. But I still need help.

      Give it time and remember the rest of us are also thinking the same thing.
      Are you getting help for it? I would recommend it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do not currently have a therapist at the moment, but I have signed up for services in the fall. I’m on their waitlist, so I have to wait for them to call me whenever they have room.

        Sometimes at social anxiety events, it’s both uncomfortable and helpful to me. I can’t stop thinking that anything I say will come across as stupid to other people, but when my response is received with positivity, I’m always surprised (almost like I can’t quite believe it) that people are accepting me.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know I’m not alone, but I also know I’m my worst enemy. I think of myself in the most negative terms, and that really affects my self esteem and in turn affects how I interact with other people, even if they have SA too. With me, it’s like a coin toss. I can have days where I am fine around friends, especially if I am well acquainted with them and so I don’t have to be afraid of being judged. Other times I’m very withdrawn if I’m around friends but there are some who I hardly know and I get nervous because of this.


      3. I’m a little skeptical about therapy because I was in cognitive therapy in the past with a private therapist. It was very expensive, and in a way, it did help but also did not help. I was essentially in a hard position then because I wanted to overcome my social anxiety but was very, very afraid of doing literally anything. One time my therapist suggested I simply try sitting in a public space with other people nearby, and even the thought of doing this gave me so much anxiety that I couldn’t do it. I’m better today. Sitting in public places no longer scare me, but the only way I got over this was, after many painstaking years, I’d make myself do it. I still feel freaked out ordering food at stores or telling the cashier what I’d like to buy, and sometimes I can do it, while other times I feel too anxious and go an afternoon with hunger pains from not buying food.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I know about the hunger pains.
        But it think you have come a long way. Here private if you choose one that is subsidized by the government – it’s the same price as public.
        I really feel for you.

        Liked by 1 person

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